I Hate Spelling Bees

I'm pretty nice, right? I mean, I care about people's feelings, and I try to not hurt any. However, sommmetimes I offend people, and sommmetimes it's hilarious.

For instance, last Friday. I approached a woman in a dialysis clinic for our study. This lady is very, very old and very, very...well, let's say feisty, though bitchy may be a better suited word. Let's call her Ms. Minnelli because she looks strikingly like an elderly Liza Minnelli, and in no way do I mean that as a compliment.

Anyway, I start the conversation with some basic demographic information questions, "So what's your address, Ms. Minnelli?",

She smiles and responds, "123 Dia Lane."

I lift my pen and begin to write 1, 2, 3, "Now how do you spell that? D-I-A? Or D-E-A?"

Ms. Minnelli's pleasant smile morphs into a grumpy frown, "I said Dia!"

I've clearly upset her, so I respond in a softer, now apologetic tone, "So is it spelled D-E-E-A-H?"

"NO!" snarls Ms. Minnelli, "Deeeeee-ah!"

Still confused, I try again, "So it's D-E-E...e,e...e,e,e?-A? How many E's are in there, Ms. Minnelli?"

Noticeably offended, she spouts, "D--E--E--Ahhh!"

I was startled by her shouting at the end there, but then I suddenly recognized the accent, "Oh! You're from Massachusetts! I'm so sorry! So Deer Lane, got it."

Ms. Minnelli rolls her eyes and nods.

"Now is that D-E-E-R or D-E-A-R?"...