Tricia, the Nomad

Another year, another move. I'm beginning to feel like a pawn in life's game of chess; move after strategic move just waiting to settle down, find a home, reach a stalemate. But, life is not a game of chess, it's not even a game of Checkers or Go Fish. There are no clear winners or losers. No, wait, I take that back, I've seen Flavor of Love too many times not to know that there are clearly losers in this world. Luckily, VH1 has been collecting them all like Pokemons and storing them in the safety of gated mansions. The reality of life is more like a game of Candy Land. You pick a card with a color (sometimes two colors, if you're lucky!), then you move your little plastic guy to that color on the board, and you just work your way along the Candy Land path of life until you reach the end and win the game. Along the way you'll meet Gloppy the Chocolate Monster, Plumpy, Grandma Nut, Lord Licorice, and more! On second thought, maybe life isn't like Candy Land at all.

Anyway, in addition to moving, there are a lot of new things going on in my life--new job, new haircut, new drug addictions. Just kidding about the drug addictions. I don't do drugs. I did cut my hair though (thanks for noticing)! Despite the annoying hassle of moving and starting a new job, I am looking forward to living in a new neighborhood and gaining experience towards something I hope to eventually do--or finding out what I don't want to do (preferably the former).

Let's talk about my new place because that's what I'm most excited about right now, and I know that you're excited about what I'm excited about. You see, my current apartment sucks. You open a door to a wall in a hallway, which is not very warm and inviting. In fact, it's cold and uninviting. When you open the door to my new apartment, you are welcomed by a large living room, part of the kitchen, and a brick fireplace (doesn't work but still pretty to look at). There's even a chandelier in there! The bedroom is pretty big, and I plan on being unconscious there for long periods of time. I can definitely see that happening.

It's perfect. Completely perfect. Well, except for two minor details. First off, there's an ant infestation. Ew. Ew. Ew. I hate bugs, and I feel like they're crawling on me when I see them. They are all over the kitchen, and unless they intend on paying for room and board, I want them out! Secondly, and perhaps more importantly, there's a mysterious bell jar of yellow liquid in the hall closet. Some people keep skeletons in their closet, and some people keep jars of urine. Unfortunately, I am the kind of person that keeps a jar of urine. Who knows, it might not be urine. It might be something pleasant like lemonade or pine-sol, but unless I know for sure, I'm not touching it. So, I would like to extend the offer of removing the mysterious bell jar from my apartment to anyone reading this. Thank you in advance.